


Thoughts Unheard, Things Left Unsaid

by SweetDreamsAreMadeOfCheese



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future Fish, Angst, Fluff, M/M, mushy romantic goodness, other minor characters are mentioned/have speaking parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4172694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetDreamsAreMadeOfCheese/pseuds/SweetDreamsAreMadeOfCheese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto couldn’t see the smile on Haru’s face. Although Haru couldn’t see the one on Makoto’s either, he knew it was there.</p><p>He wondered if Makoto felt it too; the warm, tingly feeling he felt in the places where their bodies were touching. Did Makoto have a fluttering feeling in his stomach too?</p><p>Haru didn’t say anything, and neither did Makoto. Neither of them heard the things that were left unsaid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sounds of Sirens

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eclairsforbreakfast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclairsforbreakfast/gifts).



> An early birthday gift for Adrianne my little shit.  
> I told her I wanted to write her a thing so I asked her what she wanted and she said MakoHaru based on one of the images from the mook (which I have not read).  
> If anything in this fic isn't realistic… well, it's an alternate universe so we can pretend it is thanks.
> 
> Rated Teen for implied sexual themes, mild language (very mild, I'm surprised at myself), and mild mentions/references to death.

The sounds of the busy kitchen couldn’t cover the noise of the sirens that were driving past. A residential building down the street had caught on fire and emergency services were on the scene. It was convenient that the fire department was only right down the street; the downside was that the sirens were bothersome.

Haru looked outside from the window of the restaurant and heard the Doppler effect of the siren as the ambulance went by. He hoped the only reason for there to be EMTs there were for minor injuries; no trips to the emergency room would be necessary. Being a firefighter must be mentally straining, Haru thought, running into burning buildings and trying to rescue as many people as they could.

The restaurant hadn’t opened quite yet; preparations for the day were still in progress. The manager came over to Haru, talking about how he needed to get back to work; they were expecting multiple parties of large quantities that evening and needed enough cooks on the clock. It was unusual that they got much traffic, since business had been running slow lately in contrast to the once ever-busy restaurant.

The manager noticed Haru looking at the scene down the road, “Don’t worry about them, everything is being taking care of.” Haru said nothing and continued to look out the window. “If you want to help them, I guess it couldn’t hurt to bring some water and food to the survivors.” Haru paused, eyes wide, as if his manager could read his mind, “Would that be okay?” he asked. “I guess if it’s technically charity work it couldn’t hurt. Just don’t tell the owner I let you do this, since we’re not supposed to give food for free.”

-

A few other employees that arrived early offered to help. They brought water pitchers and cups for the survivors. Haru and one of the other cooks brought trays prepared with servings of food to bring around. It wasn’t much, but Haru wanted to do something to help.

Water was being sprayed onto the windows of the building, hoping to put the fire out. A little at a time, firefighters were bringing out the remainder of the people in the building. It really was a nasty fire. Haru looked over to see a small child holding her mother’s hand, crying about a family pet still being inside. “Don’t worry, child,” the chief said, “Tachibana is getting your cat for you.”

Just then, a tall figure exited the building, parts from the ceiling above the doorway falling behind him. In his hands was the family cat. The younger girl squealed and ran toward the fireman, her mother calling out to her to be careful. The fireman bent down and handed the little girl the gray and white cat, covered in soot and ash. He took his mask off and Haru saw his wide smile. “Here you go, safe and sound,” the fireman said to the little girl “See? I found her behind some rubble, but she appears to be fine.” The little girl gave him her thanks and ran back to her family. There was a big smile on the fireman’s face.

Haru observed the man: he was tall, obviously well built to be a firefighter, had light brown hair, he looked a little sweaty from being in such hot circumstances. Haru walked closer to him, but, upon realizing the he had a very handsome face, he stopped.

“Is everyone out?” Haru heard someone shout. The fire was almost put out and another team was being sent in to check the scene to make sure everyone got out. To Haru it was all just white noise; his gaze was kept on Tachibana, the firefighter that saved the cat. He had walked over to one of the benches nearby and started taking his gloves and the other outer pieces of his gear off.

Haru gripped his tray and held it steadily, hoping to not drop it, and walked over to where the fireman was sitting. He held out the tray to him, “Here,” he said, simply. The man looked up at Haru, and smiled “Ah! Thank you, we heard the alarm before I got the chance to eat.” Haru felt his face flush and he turned his head away, embarrassed. He heard the man giggle, and turned his head back. He kind of looked like a puppy, Haru thought. “You’re… Tachibana, right?” Haru said to the man.  
The man looked at Haru, “Yes! My name is Tachibana Makoto. You can just call me Makoto.”  
“I…” Haru began, “I really admire your bravery.” Makoto smile grew wider, Haru realized how green his eyes were, “Thanks, it’s good to know we’re appreciated, we’re just doing our job.”

“It’s a lot of work?” Haru asked, trying his best to make conversation without embarrassing himself. He sat down next to Makoto on the bench.  
“Yeah,” Makoto said, turning his head, “It’s scary sometimes, but it has its benefits.”

Haru followed his line of sight to the little girl nuzzling her cat, which was mewing happily. He hummed to himself quietly.  
“I see your colleagues are helping a lot,” Makoto spoke again, turning to look at Haru.  
“I’m glad they decided to help.” Haru said, looking at his co-workers helping the crowd.  
“Oh! Was this your idea?” Makoto looked at Haru with a smile. Haru just turned his head away, not saying anything.

A few second passed, but Makoto kept looking at Haru, who eventually turned his head back. “You’re staring at me.”  
“I… uh…” Makoto hesitated, “I was just studying your uniform, you work at that restaurant down the road?”  
“Yes.” Haru replied. How could he have known that? Customers didn’t usually see the cooks, who rarely left the kitchen.  
“I remember there was a kitchen fire there a few weeks ago,” Makoto giggled to himself, “I was wondering why the uniform looked familiar. Were you there?”  
“No, I was off that day.” Haru had taken his cat to the vet that day for a scheduled checkup, but he didn’t need to mention that much. He had only just met the guy, there was no reason to go into details, but something in him wanted to get to know him better.

“How has business been? Since the fire, I mean,” Makoto continued, “I can imagine people not wanting to go to a restaurant that recently had such an incident.”  
“Most days are slow,” Haru told him, “Today is expected to be busier than normal, though.” Makoto nodded his head at Haru’s words, letting him know he was listening. It felt nice to Haru, knowing that someone was interested in what he wanted to say. A lot of his thoughts went unsaid since there was no one he could really talk to. He had his cat, but it didn’t make much sense to him to talk to a cat about his problems.

“I should actually get back to work,” Haru said and stood.  
“Oh! Already?” Makoto said. Haru didn’t see the disappointed look on his face. “Well,” Makoto said to Haru as he started to walk toward his co-workers, “Thank you for helping out here! Everyone looks a lot happier.” Haru kept walking.  
“Wait!” Haru stopped when he heard Makoto raise his voice. He turned to look at Makoto, who had stood up. Haru realized how much taller Makoto was than him. “I didn’t catch your name.” Makoto smiled at Haru.

“My name is Nanase Haruka,” he said, expression stoic.  
“Can I call you Haru-chan?” Makoto asked.  
“You may not.”

Haru turned and walked away, heart beating like he’d just seen the clearest pool in his life.

He didn’t hear the soft giggle Makoto made after the final words.


	2. Thoughts of You

The owner of the restaurant did eventually find out about giving away free food, and was upset about the decrease of inventory with no income to replace. The manager of the place at the time had received a scolding, but then appraisal when the act of goodness increased the rate of business. The place was busier than ever now, reservations became stricter again, and the waiting service was getting more tips.

Haru removed his chef’s hat and apron and prepared himself to leave. He clocked out, ready to head home and feed his cat. He sighed to himself, remembering that it was just an ordinary Thursday evening. 

On Fridays, Makoto would come to see him when he got off work. They’d been doing this for a few weeks now; Makoto’s place was on the way to Haru’s from the street where they both worked, Makoto and Haru would walk together. They would chat, maybe stop by the park and sit together to talk. They would talk about anything and everything. Haru found out that Makoto liked swimming and even lived near the local swim club. Of course, Haru remembered other facts about Makoto; he had younger siblings and liked cats. Haru found himself opening up to Makoto as well, expressing his pretentious thoughts about water and the fact that he had a cat. Of course, many thoughts went unheard, because they were left unsaid.

Makoto even mentioned the name of a friend of his on the police force: Matsuoka Rin. Haru had recognized the name from a swimming competition when they were younger. 

Makoto would sometimes go out of his way to walk Haru all the way back to his place. Haru stated that it wasn’t necessary but Makoto insisted, and Haru didn’t protest, he wanted to spend more time with Makoto. Haru started to find himself feeling affection for Makoto. It took a while for him to realize it, and even longer for him to admit it to himself; Haru had a crush on Tachibana Makoto, the tall fireman that, Haru decided, was hotter than the spicy tuna special at the restaurant. 

Haru wished it could have been Friday already, so he could spend time with Makoto. Makoto had to cancel the last Friday since he was nursing a sprained ankle, which, he had assured Haru, was from his own clumsiness and not on the job. It had been almost two weeks since the last time Haru saw Makoto in person. They had briefly spoken over text, but Haru thought it wasn’t enough. Something in Haru ached to see Makoto’s smile again.

Haru walked by the front of the restaurant outside, making his way home. He glanced into the window briefly, and that’s when he saw Makoto. 

What was he doing there?

Makoto was dressed very nicely, what you would expect for a fancy restaurant. He was being seated by one of the hostess that Haru could only identify by the fact she was nice but had a very terrible sense of humor. He noticed that she must have tried saying something funny when Makoto attempted to fake a laugh. Haru knew what Makoto’s real laugh looked like, or maybe he only laughed like that around him.

So what was bothering him so much? 

Makoto was being seated with a very pretty young woman.

He pulled out her chair for her and everything, probably told her how beautiful she looked once het sat. Haru watched her giggle and blush. Was this just one date? Had they dated before? Questions filled Haru’s brain, questions like “Is she his girlfriend?” “Are they engaged?” Makoto never mentioned having a significant other, or dates of any kind. He seemed too young to have a wife, being only a bit younger than Haru. 

Haru observed the girl; of course Makoto would be able to attract a girl as pretty as her. Haru couldn’t watch anymore and turned to walk home. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was jealous. He was hoping that Makoto had felt the same way that Haru felt about him. 

Haru picked up the pace as he went home, making a mental note to take a long bath after he’d fed his cat.

-

Haru missed being able to swim in an actual pool, but the swim club memberships were out of his budget. Baths were the only way he could calm down. He eventually got out when his fingers started to resemble dried fruit. Haru head a faint mew from the other side of the door along with a scratching sound.

Haru got out, dressed, and let the furry creature rub herself on his legs. Haru bent down to pet her, feeling her soft fur that wasn’t brushed as much as it should have been. Haru made a mental note to do so that night. “Makoto would like you, Suki,” Haru said out loud. Makoto probably would like Haru’s cat, Makoto loves all cats and all cats love Makoto. 

There he goes again, Haru thinking about Makoto. He was everywhere in his mind; when he walked up stairs he thought about how Makoto skips steps because of his long legs, when it’s nighttime he thought about the one time Makoto confessed he was a little scared of the dark, and whenever he saw his own cat he thought about how Makoto would just adore her. Whenever he’s at work and he hears the sirens go off outside, he wondered if it’s Makoto to the rescue.

All that evening, every one of his thoughts that remind him of Makoto just lead him to that girl he saw him with. Haru knows he shouldn’t be mad at her; he doesn’t blame her for having good taste. He wondered if he should ask Makoto about it the next day, but he didn’t want to pry into his personal life. It’s not his business, but Haru is tired of not knowing the answer to the questions that are eating at him. He knew that he wouldn’t sleep well that night.


	3. Realization of Truth

Makoto is waiting for Haru near the entrance of the restaurant by the time Haru gets there. “Good to see you, Haru-chan!” Makoto greets.   
“I told you not to use the ‘-chan’,” Haru replies, “How’s your ankle?”  
“Better, it’s good to see you again Haru. It’s been a while, huh?” Makoto smiles at Haru, as always. Haru doesn’t hear the “I missed you” because it went unsaid.

Makoto looks past Haru to someone walking up behind him. 

“Rin!” 

Haru turned around to see Makoto’s police friend. Haru waiting patiently as the two conversed. “How did that stakeout go last night?”   
“It went great, got a better view of the place than we expected.” Haru figured Makoto knew more about this stakeout that Rin was talking about than he did. “I’d tell you more about it, but right now it’s still classified.” Rin continued.

“I’m glad it went well!” Makoto replied. “Rin, you used to swim against Haru didn’t you?”   
Rin turned to face Haru, “Oh yeah, still as stoic as I remember.”   
Makoto giggled, “He’s always smiling on the inside, aren’t you, Haru-chan.”  
“Shut up.” Haru replied, turning his head away from both of them, receiving laughter from both of them as a response.

“Anyway,” Rin spoke once the laughter died down, “I have to get going, oh and thanks for going with Gou last night.”

Haru froze; he definitely heard that. 

The two had said their goodbyes and Rin continued on. Makoto suggested they go to the park to talk. “We went there last time.” Haru replied.  
“Well, we haven’t seen each other in two weeks, why don’t we get caught up with each other?” Makoto started walking as he spoke.  
Haru followed, unopposed to doing whatever Makoto wanted.

-

The two talked together on the park bench under the tree, their usual spot. After a few minutes, Makoto noticed Haru’s distant-ness.   
“Haru? Is something on your mind?”   
A short moment passed, but then Haru nodded his head.  
“What is it?” Makoto asked softly, and scooted a little closer to Haru.

 

“Rin mentioned you going with someone last night, I’m a little confused.” Haru replied after several seconds of more silence.

“Ah, he was talking about his sister, Gou.” Makoto began explaining. “She had been wanting to go to that restaurant for a while now and Rin wanted to take her since they had a coupon for two. He had something come up that night last minute and he asked me to take her as friends.” 

Haru felt his muscles relax.

She’s just a friend.  
He was getting worked up for nothing.

“Was that what was bothering you?” Makoto asked.  
“I… uh…” Haru wasn’t sure what to say. 

“I saw you.”  
“Huh?” now it was Makoto’s turn to be confused.   
“Last night with Gou… I saw you in the window on my way home.” Haru didn’t look at Makoto as he said this.

“Oh? Did you think we were having some romantic evening?” Makoto laughed, “I can see why you were confused. No, it wasn’t like that, Rin’s too overprotective of her to let anyone date her.”  
Haru turned back toward him, Makoto facing forward not looking at Haru.  
“How come Rin let you go with her if he’s like that?” Haru asked.  
“Rin trusts me not to try anything, he knows we’re just friends. Plus, he knows I don’t swing that way…” Makoto froze, like he hadn’t meant for Haru to hear that part.

When Makoto turned to look at Haru, he had already turned to face forward on the bench. 

“Neither do I” Haru said, turning his head slightly toward Makoto and giving him a small smile. 

Makoto looked relieved, a smile spreading on his face. Neither of them said anything for the next few minutes.

 

Haru had been overreacting.

She was just a friend,

He wasn’t even interested in girls.

 

They resumed their normal talk, like nothing happened. Haru felt more relaxed and comfortable around Makoto. He listened to Makoto’s courageous adventures as a firefighter, which for the past week weren’t all that much. He told funny stories about what he and the others did in the firehouse while they waited for calls to come in that week. Haru listened intently, having nothing to really say himself. Talking about customers complaining wasn’t exactly fun, he’d rather not think about that. Makoto still expressed interest in what he was saying, as if he was just happy to hear him talk about his week. 

On the way back to Makoto’s place, he mentioned that he applied for a part-time job at the local swim club that he lived near. He’d be given a membership that included guest passes, so Haru could go swim and not have to wait until it got warmer for him to swim in the local outdoor pool, which was open to the public. Haru’s eyes lit up, he’d be able to swim and he could visit Makoto. 

They reached Makoto’s place and said their goodbyes. Makoto told Haru to text him when he got home safely, which he always did whenever they spent time together. Haru would simply text “Home.” and Makoto would know that all was fine. 

When Haru got back to his place, he fed his cat, changed into comfier clothes, and flopped onto his bed and covered his face, unable to stop smiling like an idiot. 

 

Haru was happy.

He realizes that he’d been lonely for so long, and now he had someone to spend time with.

Someone he considered a friend.

Someone he loved. 

Haru heard the text alert on his phone in the other room; smiling to himself even more since he knew it was Makoto replying that he was glad was home safe.


	4. Nightmares of Flames

Haru woke up to his cat pawing at his face. He sat up and she backed away slowly and meowed at him. Haru rubbed his eyes as she got down and walked towards the door, turning back as if she where waiting for him. 

“What is it, Suki?” Haru said sleepily.

He followed her into the other room where he’d left his phone. He noticed the notification indicator light was on. 

Haru picked up his phone to see a message from Makoto:

“Sorry to bother you, you’re probably sleeping. I just need to know you’re okay.”

 

What was going on? Why did Makoto send him this?

Haru replied: “Fine. Why?”

 

He waited a few moments before receiving the next message.

“Oh thank goodness you’re alright. I’ll explain later.”

Haru, still confused, walked back into his room. He found his cat lying in the place where he once slept. He sighed to himself, good thing it was Friday.

-

Haru walked to the front of the restaurant, one of the hostesses teased that his boyfriend was waiting for him. He knew whom she meant, but didn’t let her have the satisfaction. 

They weren’t dating… yet.

When Makoto saw Haru, his smile was brighter than ever. He looked relieved, for some reason. 

Makoto apologized that he woke Haru so early in the morning. Haru said he was already awake; it wasn’t entirely a lie. 

“Why did you send me that, and so early?” Haru asked.

“Oh! Yes, I guess I should explain.”

-

Flames.

Flames everywhere.

The worst kitchen fire Makoto had ever seen.   
Hadn’t he just done this a few months ago? This seemed way worse.

He had to find him, had to find Haru, he was trapped in here and Makoto needed to get him out.

It’s hard to breath, for some reason his mask and helmet where off. The sounds of crackling flames where everywhere around him, and the entire scene was an inferno.

Makoto turned, and there he was.

Haru was standing there, covered in a dark-red substance that Makoto hoped wasn’t blood.

Makoto couldn’t move, he opened his mouth for him to yell for Haru to get out, but he couldn’t speak.

Haru blinked, and his blue eyes seemed brighter. The blue contrasted the golden blaze around him.

Haru closed his eyes again, and slowly disintegrated into ash. Makoto tried to reach out for Haru, but still couldn’t move.

Before he completely disappeared, Haru smiled at Makoto, and closed his eyes. 

Just like that, Haru was gone.

Makoto couldn’t save him.

-

“It was so scary but it felt so real.” Makoto’s hands were clenched in his lap; his body was turned toward Haru on the steps to his apartment building, and his head was bowed down, looking at the ground.

Haru watched Makoto as he told him about his nightmare. 

“Of course,” Makoto picked his head up and looked at Haru, “It was only a dream,” his puppy-like eyes squinted as he smiled at Haru.

“Idiot.” Haru mumbled.

“Huh?” Makoto looked at Haru, confused.

Haru turned his head away, “If it were real you would have saved me, dumbass.”

Makoto smiled even wider, nudging Haru gently with his arm, giggling. “The reason I messaged you is because I wanted to make sure you were alright,” Haru felt a hand on his shoulder momentarily after Makoto said this. 

 

“Oh! I forgot to tell you!” Makoto perked up.  
Haru turned to look at him.

“The swim club over there accepted my application!” Haru’s head was turned away, but he could hear the smile in Makoto’s voice. “I went in for an interview on Wednesday, I now work there part time!” 

Haru had light in his eyes as Makoto explained how he was scheduled to work after Haru’s shift at the restaurant. They could walk there together; Makoto would go right to work and Haru could swim.

Haru didn’t know what came over him, but he leaned into Makoto’s side, Haru’s shoulder against Makoto’s arm and his head on Makoto’s shoulder. Makoto stopped what he was saying and hummed to himself. “I guess this means you’re happy,” Makoto patted Haru’s thigh.

They stayed like that for a few moments. Haru eventually wrapped his arms around Makoto. Makoto couldn’t see the smile on Haru’s face. Although Haru couldn’t see the one on Makoto’s either, he knew it was there.

Haru wondered if Makoto felt it too; the warm, tingly feeling he felt in the places where their bodies were touching. Did Makoto have a fluttering feeling in his stomach too?

He didn’t say anything, and neither did Makoto. Neither of them heard the things that were left unsaid.

There was a fire between the two that neither wanted to extinguish.


	5. Feelings of Home

Just another day of working as a Firefighter, walking around a burning building trying to help people escape. There was always the pressure in being able to help everyone, there were always cases were someone couldn’t make it out alive, and there was the fear that it would be the very person having these thoughts.

Haru telling Makoto that he appreciated his bravery meant a lot; he never forgot those words. He’d saved the lives of many people and animals and received thanks from many, but something about Haru’s words kept him going.

It was an ordinary day for Makoto: gear up, rush to the truck, get to the place, help whoever you can, save a cat or two; once a whole litter of kittens in a box. It was the same thing, but it never really got boring.

Makoto stepped out of the building, some of his fellow firefighters carrying unconscious but not-yet-dead humans. Makoto held a cat in his arms as he left the apartment building, hoping that the owners made out all right.

 

Makoto heard one of the residents of the building shout.

 

“Suki!”

Makoto knew the voice, and everything started to slowly click into place.

He saw Haru running over to him, and held out his cat to him. Haru looked relieved as he reached out for his cat. Makoto let go and took off his helmet once Haru had a firm hold on the animal.   
“So... this is your little Suki?”

Haru looked up at Makoto, now able to see the face of the person who saved his cat.   
“Makoto,” Haru looked up at his friend, “Thank you… for finding her.”

“I assume you’re alright?” Makoto asked Haru.  
“Fine,” Haru replied, “Just a little shaken up.”

“I’m glad you’re alright,” Makoto said with a smile.  
“My apartment isn’t so much,” Haru looked back at the building, knowing his place probably took a lot of damage. 

“I guess yours is on the third floor?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Judging from what I saw, it’s probably not going to be in a livable condition of any kind. I’m really sorry about this.”  
“It’s not your fault that this happened.”

There was silence between the two for a moment.

“If you don’t mind…” Makoto began, “You could stay with me. I mean… until the damages are repaired or you find a new place!”  
“Makoto, you don’t have to do that.”  
“No, it’s fine! I’m closer to where you work, anyway and-”  
“I can find a place on my own, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m right near that swim club, remember?”

Haru’s eyes lit up, Makoto thought they looked like bioluminescent coral under such blue oceans, but he kept that thought to himself.

“I have that membership from working there… I can give you one of the guest passes… you could go swim whenever you wanted…”

“Okay.” Haru agreed, finally, “I’ll stay with you.” 

I’ll stay with you forever, if you’ll let me.

Makoto didn’t hear that part.

-

Makoto helped Haru bring in boxes filled with whatever wasn’t damaged. Haru admired Makoto’s strong arms and he carried in box after box of the heavy things. Haru felt that Makoto was already doing enough for him; he didn’t need to continue this.

Haru was set up in the spare bedroom of Makoto’s apartment, currently just being used as a storage room. Makoto hurriedly tried to clean up a few things to make the room more livable. 

Suki jumped up onto the bed and lied down. “I hope you don’t mind that you’re now going to have cat fur everywhere.” Haru said to Makoto. Makoto paused in his movements, and looked at Haru with a soft expression, “It’s fine, just let me know if there’s anything I can do to make this more ‘at home’ for you. If you need anything you can always ask.” 

This made Haru smile, “Thank you.”

Makoto showed Haru how to run the bath, where all the dishes and plates were, where all of the spare blankets and pillows were stored, etc.

 

The two of them ordered pizza that night, sitting and talking with each other about their usual topics.

When it got dark, the two of them sat together in front of the television, producing the only light source of the room.

Haru had gotten up to use the bathroom only to find that Suki had jumped up in his spot on the couch. Makoto laughed at the expression that Haru made, and scooted over from Haru to have a place next to him.

They were sitting a lot closer than they were before, bodies almost right up against each other. Haru remembered the last time they were so close, how he didn’t want their embrace to end. The memory brought back the fluttering feeling he felt before, and the tingly feeling of closeness was back, as well.

Haru felt Makoto lean onto him, and noticed that he had fallen asleep. Haru smiled to himself, Makoto had worked hard that day to make sure Haru was comfortable. Now it was Makoto’s turn to feel relaxed.

Haru grabbed the remote from Makoto’s limp hand, and turned off the television. He let his head lean against Makoto’s. 

 

They fell asleep like that. When Haru woke, he found himself lying sideways on the couch, alone.

He found a note on the table in front of him, “Had to leave to go to the station, feel free to make yourself some breakfast. Hope you slept well! –Makoto”

Haru smiled to himself and sighed. He noticed how warm the blanket was, and how it smelled like Makoto.

Haru felt like he was home.


	6. Confessions of Feelings

For someone who resembles a puppy so much, Makoto sure loved cats. Haru was right about Suki liking Makoto, and vice versa.

Haru loved living with Makoto, he felt less lonely. It was nice being able to come home to someone and talk about his day, and hear about Makoto’s day.

Haru didn’t work in the mornings, so he took the time to go with Makoto to go to the firehouse, and worked as a volunteer cook. It was routine, Haru would go to the station with Makoto, run some errands and take care of Suki, go to work at the restaurant, then meet with Makoto and go to the swim club together, and they’d go home together. 

Saturdays were the best because neither of them had to work; they could just stay home all day if they wished.

Haru was in the bath on a Saturday, relishing in the fact that he could just relax. He heard Makoto call for him from the other side of the door. Haru’s phone had a voice message on it that Haru had missed. 

Haru gave Makoto the okay to come in. Makoto held the phone steadily toward Haru while looking away, a slight blush tinted his face.

Haru listened to the voicemail; it was his previous landlord telling him that the repairs to his apartment had finished and that he could move back if he so desired. Haru slowly took the phone away from his ear once the message finished. 

Makoto was still in the room, his back turned to Haru. He noticed the blush on his ears. Makoto turned his head slightly as he asked whom it was.

“My landlord.” Haru began explaining, “I can go back and live in my old place if I want to.”

“Oh…” Makoto replied, sounding disappointed, “That’s great that everything is fixed, you can go home now!” Makoto said with more enthusiasm. 

My home is here, Haru thought, with you.

Haru didn’t want to leave, but Makoto probably wanted his place to himself again, to be able to use his spare room as a storage room again, and the privacy.

“I’d be happy to help you move back!” Makoto continued. 

-

Haru could leave now, and he probably was going to. Makoto didn’t want Haru to go, but he wanted Haru to do what he wanted to do. Makoto decided that he would just let him go, he probably wanted to return to his normal life, anyway. Or course, he could still visit him after work and walk him home, and maybe Haru would still come to the fire station.

Makoto waits until Haru shows he’s ready to start packing his things up and return home, Makoto will be ready to help him. Makoto doesn’t know that he is home to Haru.

Makoto’s thoughts were filled with Haru leaving and it prevented him from sleeping. He eventually was able to drift to sleep, at a less than preferable time. This is when he has his nightmare again, where Haru turns to ash and Makoto can’t save him. He wakes up covered in sweat, covers scattered from the tossing and turning in his sleep, and panting.

Makoto needed to make sure Haru was fine. He can’t just tell himself that everything is okay, go back to sleep. He needs to not just see Haru, but also feel him in the flesh. He gets up, and walks to Haru’s room opening the door slowly. Makoto walked over to Haru’s sleeping form.

Haru looked so peaceful, the blankets were covering him almost completely and his body curled slightly on his side. Makoto brushed the bangs out of Haru’s face, and caressed his cheek as gently as he could. Haru opened his eyes to see Makoto standing over him from next to his bed. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes, mumbling incoherent questions to Makoto.

“Sorry.” Makoto begins, “I didn’t mean to wake you, I just…” he trailed off.   
“Why where you touching my face if you didn’t want me to wake up?” Haru asked, watching as Makoto sighed. “What’s wrong?” Haru scooted over and let Makoto sit next to him.

Makoto explained his reasons for waking Haru at how-dare-you o’clock in the morning on a workday. Haru leaned against Makoto as he talked, rubbing circles into Makoto’s back with his hand. Makoto apologized again for disturbing Haru.

Haru tells Makoto that it’s okay, he gets nightmares from the day he couldn’t find Suki and the place was on fire, and that he doesn’t feel better until he sees Suki in real life to make sure she’s fine.

“But it’s easier for you, Suki is your cat and you can easily find her!” Makoto’s voice picks up as he speaks, “When it’s my dream, I’m restless until I know you’re okay! I can’t just wake you in the middle of the night like this to make sure, especially now since you’re going to leave and I know you don’t always have your phone with you to reply right away and I don’t want you to leave anyway!” Makoto catches his breath and Haru’s eyes widen. “I want you to stay, I’ve never been happier and I want you to keep living here with me and I know you probably want to go home and I understand that-”

“Makoto,” Haru interrupted. Makoto finally let his thoughts be heard, most of them at least, and now it’s Haru’s turn to do the same.

“You are my home,” Haru starts, “I don’t want to leave either, I just thought you wanted your space to yourself again.” 

Makoto smiled at his words, “Haru…” he pulled Haru into a tight embrace, hoping to never let go. After moments passed, he decided to tell Haru everything. “Haru?”   
“Hm?”

“I… I like you… a lot.”

“Obviously if you want me to keep living here so badly…”

“No, that’s not what I mean…” Makoto pulled back but kept his face close to Haru’s, looking him in the eyes. “I really like you, Haru.” 

 

“Oh” Haru says as his eyes widen, realizing what Makoto means.

There is silence, and for a while they could only look into each other’s eyes. Makoto felt Suki rubbing her face against him, and Haru looked down to see her purring. Makoto giggled and Haru smiled fondly, “Suki seems to approve,” Haru says, more to himself than to Makoto. He took Makoto’s hand and placed it in both of his. Makoto looked at Haru and smiled. 

 

Haru told Makoto that their feelings were mutual, and the two of them lied together in the guest bed, Suki asleep at their feet. Their legs were entangled and their fingers entwined. “So how about I take you on an actual date?” Makoto offers, “Maybe since you always cook for me, I can cook for you…”  
“I’ve had your cooking,” Haru’s words sleepily slurred, “Never again.” Makoto laughs quietly and Haru sighs contently. 

They talked for several minutes in a sleepy haze.

“I used to think you were hotter than the spicy tuna special we have on Tuesdays.”  
“You ‘used to’?”  
“Well, I still do…”

They lied there, and eventually fell asleep like that.

Their thoughts were finally heard, and there were no things left to be unsaid. They made a promise to each other to talk about whatever was bothering them, to stop keeping their thoughts from the other.


	7. Promises of Love

Haru woke up to the soft glow of the morning hitting the wall, and a pair of long, strong arms around him. Sometime during the night he must have turned over in his sleep, creating a spooning position, facing away from Makoto. His body was nice and warm against his. He hated that in a few minutes they would have to leave to start the day. Haru decided there was no other place he would rather wake up than in Makoto’s arms.

Haru turned in Makoto’s embrace, not wanting to have his back toward him anymore. Makoto’s face was squished against the pillow and his hair all messy. Haru wanted so badly to kiss his cute face, like every time they sat together watching television or playing video games. He then remembered the confessions they made the prior night; Makoto had said it was okay if Haru wanted to kiss him awake.

Haru placed a little peck on Makoto’s nose, and then slowly continued placing gentler kisses to other parts of his face. Makoto’s eyes fluttered open to see Haru smiling at him.  
“I could get used to this.” Makoto sounded sleepy and his voice was lower-pitched and slightly rougher than normal from sleep. They rubbed their noses together in an eskimo kiss before getting up to start their day.

-

Haru headed home a little quicker than normal. Normally he walked with Makoto to the swim club after work, but this day was different. They’d been living together for a little over a full year by now and he wanted to do something special for Makoto. Haru cooked for Makoto all the time and occasionally drew him pictures as gifts, but he wanted this to be better.

Makoto and Haru had gone together to the restaurant a few times for dinner, but they never let themselves be affectionate in public, for various reasons. They both preferred their privacy, Makoto enjoyed Haru’s cooking more, and Haru wasn’t sure if it could cost him his job.

Haru decided to give Makoto the dinner date he wanted.

-

When Makoto came into the apartment, the first thing that hit his senses was the smell of his favorite dish of Haru’s and the dim light of the room. Makoto’s eyes widened when he saw their table set up nicely with candles. He stepped further in and heard slow music playing in the background.  
“Haru? What is all this?”  
Haru walked out and Makoto sees how classily dressed he had been. “Dinner.”

Makoto took the chance to observe Haru; he’d dressed up to go to the restaurant together but never this fancy. “Now go and get changed, food will be ready soon.” Haru walked over to the stove and Makoto moved into their bedroom after placing a hello kiss to Haru’s cheek.

-

The two continued their dinner as always, conversing between bites. Makoto gushed over how nice it was for Haru to do all this and how great the food was. Haru just leaned his head on his hand, smiling as he watched and listened to Makoto talk about his first day as a swim coach for the kids.

Makoto begins to trail off on his words when he realizes that Haru was making ‘that face’ at him again. It’s that face that eliminates all of the problems of the world, Makoto thought.  
“What’s with the face, Haru?”  
“What face?” He never seemed to notice himself doing it.  
“The FACE, Haru, you always make it when I’m talking to you… you look like you’re day dreaming. Have you been listening to me?”  
“There’s nothing else I’d rather do.” It was true; he’d said it to Makoto before.

Makoto’s face flushed and he smiled back shyly.

 

They finished dinner and Makoto insisted on Haru letting him help clean up. They kept the music on as they sat together on the couch, Haru’s legs over Makoto’s lap while they slowly and softly kissed each other.

Their kissing stopped and Haru makes the face again, staring at Makoto like he’s the whole universe.  
“Why do you keep making that face at me?”  
“What face? Do I look stupid or something?”

Stupidly in love, Haru.

“You never look stupid, Haru, you’re beautiful.” Makoto says while brushing Haru’s bangs out of his eyes. Haru blushed and turns his head away, and Makoto took this as an opportunity to smooch Haru on the cheek.

Now it’s Makoto’s turn to make that face at Haru.

 

Between the two, there is silence.

 

The only sound that can be heard is from the music playing at a low volume, barely anything more than just white noise.

 

| They promised |

| They promised they wouldn’t keep important thoughts from each other |

 

| Never again |

 

| Wasn’t this important? |

| It’s something Haru deserves to hear… |

 

“I love you, Haru.”

-

They lied together in bed, curled up into each other. Their naked bodies were pressed together as they held each other in the afterglow. They both still felt the fluttering, the tingling, and now the sparks from their first time making love. They felt warm and exhausted all over.

Makoto was about to drift off when he heard his phone; he reached to pick it up to read whatever message had just been received.

It’s from Haru…

It says one word.

 

“Home.”


	8. Explanations of Fear

Makoto moved his hands in Haru’s hair, making sure every lock got its proper treatment. He massaged his sudsy scalp with extra care. He was trying his best to make Haru feel better after a rough day.

When bad days happen, the only thing Haru wants is swimming, Makoto, or both. The swim club was closed for the night already and the closest thing to that was being in the bath. That’s why they were in their current position: Haru sitting between Makoto’s legs in the warm, soapy water.

Makoto loves to spoil Haru, he’d been doing it for a few months short of 3 years now, but the one thing wrong was that Haru is upset, and that makes Makoto upset.

“Are you feeling any better?” Makoto asked calmly, as he began to rinse out Haru’s hair. Haru sighed and leaned back against Makoto.   
“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then?” Haru exhales again, this time out of his nose. “It wasn’t your fault… sometimes customers just can’t be satisfied and difficult to please and…”

“That’s not why I’m upset.” Haru interrupts.

“No? When you came home…”  
“That was bothering me earlier, but… I’ve got something else on my mind…”  
“Oh? You want to talk about it?”

“I’ve been meaning to talk about it for a while, but… I wasn’t sure how to say it… and now it’s been so long I was afraid you’d be mad at me for holding it in…”  
“Haru, I’m not mad at you for holding it in…”  
“But we promised…”  
“Don’t worry about that. You weren’t ready to talk about it, but you are now, and I’m happy about that.”

Haru sits forward, takes a deep breath, and lets it out.

“I hate it…” Haru finally says, quietly.  
“Huh?”  
“I hate that you’re a firefighter.”

Silence

“I mean I love that you save lives, you saved mine and Suki’s life, and you’re strong and brave… but…”  
“…But I’m risking my life in the process, that’s what you want to say, right?”

Haru nodded, Makoto couldn’t see the tears that were starting to form in his eyes.

“It scares me…” Haru twisted his body in the tub awkwardly to look at Makoto, “…that one day you can’t come home because you’re injured, or worse…”

Haru let the tears spill, to join the bathwater below. He told Makoto that the nightmares that woke him up at night weren’t about being unable to find Suki in a fire like Makoto had thought while reassuring and holding him; they were about being unable to find Makoto himself. He tells him that he’s been starting to dread walking to the fire station because eventually Makoto is going to go do his dangerous job. 

Haru had to stop his words when the only thing he could do was just sob in Makoto’s arms. Makoto just held him, patiently waiting for him to calm down.

Haru was bent forward in his sitting position in the tub, Makoto held him from behind, pressing tiny kisses up his spine, stopping when he reached the base of him neck, and nuzzled Haru with his head.

Haru calmed down and started to sniffle after about a minute. 

“It scares me too…” Makoto says finally, his voice sounding weak. Haru slowly turned his body side ways so he could rest his head on Makoto’s chest, his body curled as much as the tub allowed. Makoto finished washing Haru in silence, and then Haru started cleaning Makoto as well. They both got out and dried off before heading to bed.

Makoto lied on his back, and Haru curled into him, holding him tightly. “Haru” Makoto whispered into his hair. Haru let out a tired “hm” as a response.   
“I promise, I will always come home to you.”   
Haru looked up at him, “You’re home to me… Makoto.”

Suki climbs up on the bed and lied at their feet before falling asleep, which Makoto and Haru followed soon after.


	9. Wonders of How

Lazy Saturday

Best Day

Makoto and Haru were sitting at the table, at the places where there wasn’t random stuff piled onto it. Makoto had to move some things to some of the chairs just so he could have a place next to Haru. 

“We’re really going to need to clean up around here,” Haru lightly tapped Makoto’s leg with his foot as his spoke.  
“I know.” Makoto rubbed his foot against Haru, since he always tapped his leg when he wanted to play footsies under the table, which normally only happened when they were in a public restaurant and they weren’t comfortable with holding hands.

“We eventually will have to for when your family comes over.” Haru brought up.  
Makoto froze; he had forgotten that his parents would be coming over the next Friday with his siblings. After a few years, they still hadn’t visited his place since he moved in. Sure, he’d visited them and been places with the family, but they hadn’t come over yet.

Makoto sighed, of course his parents knew he had a roommate, they just didn’t yet know that Haru was also his date mate, and they hadn’t met him yet, either.

Haru moved his leg back before mentioning, “I can cook if you want…”  
“Thank you, Haru, but…” Makoto didn’t know how to say this without hurting Haru, “I was hoping maybe… you would go swim or something when they came over.”  
“If you want me out of the way, I understand…”  
“No!” Makoto grabbed Haru’s wrist, “It’s not that, I’m just, not ready for them to meet you…”

“Oh… I see.” Haru looked down.  
“I’m sure they’d love you!” Makoto tried to reassure Haru, “I’m just… not ready…”

Haru placed his free hand on top of Makoto’s on his wrist, “I understand. I can cook and then leave before they get here, if that’s alright.”  
Makoto smiles at his boyfriend, “Sounds like a plan.”

-

Haru went to the pool and began to lose himself in the feel of the water. He forgot all about Makoto’s family coming over. He got out, dried off, and changed before walking back home. 

Voices could be heard from the other side of the door and Haru remembers why he’d left in the first place. After contemplating whether to leave or not, he opened the door and walked in.

Makoto and his family were still sitting at the (finally cleared off) table when Haru entered. Makoto turned around in his seat, looking relieved, and got up and walked to him as he kicked off his shoes. He introduced his family: his mom, his dad, and his teenaged twin siblings. Haru gave a simple greeting. Makoto’s mom thanked him for the food and his father mentioned visiting the restaurant he works at sometimes. Makoto smiled at their nice comments.

Haru offered to help clean up and Makoto’s mom commented on how considerate he is. They offered to help clean as well but Makoto declines, telling them they have a train to catch. They say their goodbyes and mention how nice it was to meet their son’s roommate.

Makoto walked them down to the station. When he returned, he slumped against the door and slid down. Haru walked over to him and bent down and put a hand on one of Makoto’s knees. Makoto ranted to Haru about how they’d asked him if he had a girlfriend, and kept asking questions related to the subject. Was he seeing anyone? Had he dated at all before? Had he been looking at all? Wasn’t he seeing Matsuoka’s sister? They had just asked him what he was interested in when Haru came in.

“I guess they don’t know you don’t swing that way…” Haru said once Makoto calmed down a bit.   
“Only you, Gou-chan, Rin-chan and Rin-chan’s boyfriend know,” Makoto replied, “I thought about telling them but then you came in.”  
“Sorry.”  
Makoto looked up at Haru, “No, I’m glad you came in then.” 

Haru shifted his legs so he could sit comfortably, “Do you want them to know? You don’t have to tell them.”  
“I just wish they didn’t assume.”

They sat there for a moment. Haru’s hands were on Makoto’s knees, his thumbs running circles to help calm him down.  
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I want to go to bed, too.” Makoto said.

Haru stood up and offered Makoto a hand, helping him to his feet. Haru then placed a hand on Makoto’s neck and guided him down for a kiss. When they parted Haru said “I didn’t get my hello kiss,” and Makoto kissed him again.

“You’re making that face again,”

“It’s because I love you.”

They turned at the sound of Suki hacking up a hairball, as if she was sick of all the mushiness between the two.


	10. Continuations of Hope

It had been over 4 years since Makoto and Haru confessed to each other. Makoto sat with Haru at their table on a rainy Saturday morning. Makoto was wearing his glasses while reading a book, and Haru sipped his tea and looked out the window and watched the rain hit the glass. Haru turned his head to Makoto when he heard his book close. They smiled at each other, content.

Makoto broke the silence, “Did I tell you I saw Rin yesterday?”  
“You did not,” Haru replied before taking another sip.

Makoto took his glasses off of his face, “Apparently he’s retiring from the police force,” he placed them on the table. Haru put his tea down and looked to Makoto for him to continue.  
“Yeah, Sousuke proposed to him and they decided they would both retire at the end of this year. Rin has this whole big dream of them moving to Australia together and settling down. Knowing Sousuke, he wants whatever makes Rin happy.”

Makoto looked down at his hands on the table, “I’ve been thinking of retiring myself.” Haru looked at Makoto with wide eyes. “I’ve decided to start working at the swim club full-time. They’re starting up a whole kid’s swim teaching program, and I’ve found myself really enjoying helping out with the kids, I figured I would start doing that instead.” Makoto looked up at Haru, “Besides, I would have more flexible hours so I could be scheduled when you work so we could have more time for us.” Makoto interlocked his fingers with Haru’s, and smiled at him. 

“Makoto…” Haru couldn’t believe what he was hearing; he wouldn’t have to worry so much. Sure, there would still be nightmares, but that can’t be helped.

Makoto continued his words, “I never thought that I would spend my whole life being a fireman. The only thing that I know I want in my life forever is you, Haru”

Makoto looked into Haru’s eyes and swore his eyes looked so vibrant and blue he could see fish swimming in them. 

Haru clenched his hand that held Makoto’s.

“I want you in my life, too.” Haru replies quietly.

-

They stood in the living room of the Tachibana’s residence. Makoto’s parents were sitting together and Makoto and Haru stood across from them. 

Makoto took a deep breath before speaking, “I… we… we have something to tell you.” Makoto’s parents looked at each other, then back at the two of them, concerned.

 

“Haru isn’t just my roommate,” he reaches for Haru’s hand, gripping it tightly.

 

“He’s my fiancé.”

-

His parents had taken it better than they had expected. They wondered if Makoto had preferred males as romantic partners but were happy that Makoto was comfortable with telling them. He told them that he didn’t like all the girlfriend talk at dinner the one night and they apologized for it, not realizing that it put a lot of pressure on him.

Haru’s parents had known for a while that they were together, He’d told his mother over the phone and he said it was okay to tell his father. They agreed to come meet Makoto once they heard that they were engaged.

Rin and Sousuke gave them their congratulations, and Haru met Sousuke for the first time. 

Gou had been ecstatic and hugged Makoto tightly, afterward they had needed to break apart when Haru looked at her coldly for hugging him for a bit too long. Makoto later teased him for still being jealous of her after all these years.

-

Makoto was so beautiful and Haru knew this well. The fact made itself even more apparent when standing on the beach together. The colors of sunset shined on the both of them. 

They were facing each other, the warm sun was hitting their sides and their hands were interlocked: each wearing rings symbolizing their love, their promises, and their future together. 

Haru decided that Makoto never looked more beautiful than this moment, thinking it was impossible for one human being to be that precious. Of course, over the years, Haru would find that Makoto only became more beautiful every day. Makoto thought the same exact thing about Haru.

Haru was smiling brighter than the sun next to them. Makoto had no idea that Haru wasn’t the type to really smile all that much when Makoto wasn’t around. Makoto remembered seeing Haru laugh for the first time, and how it was the moment Makoto realized he was in love. 

If Makoto knew how few people saw Haru like this, he would want everyone to be able to witness a sight like this.

Makoto always smiled, and Haru could never get bored of it. He even hated it when Makoto frowned, know that something was making him upset and he wanted to destroy all evidence of what was hurting him.

-

Makoto was resting on his and Haru’s bed. He was laid on his stomach with his arms folded, supporting his upper body, as he read from his book. He heard Haru walk into the room, and then a creak in the bedsprings as he felt the bed dip beside him. 

Makoto heard Haru shift around on the bed until he was properly positioned the way he wished. Unable to pay attention to his book, he turned to see what his adorable husband was doing after he felt Haru pat his backside with a hand before a stronger weight rested on it.

Makoto saw that Haru placed his head right on his butt, Haru’s favorite pillow. Makoto smiled and sighed to himself and went back to his book, knowing that Haru would just eventually fall asleep.

 

“Makoto.” Haru picked up his head, and slightly sat up

“Yes, Haru?”

“You have a nice butt.” Haru poked Makoto’s right cheek with a finger.

“Thank you, you’ve told me before.”

“I love your butt.” Haru squeezed with both hands.

“I know, and I love your butt.”

Haru placed a kiss where his finger had poked, and readjusted himself. He lied down on top of Makoto, head resting on his shoulder and arms wrapped around his torso under his arms. Haru kept their bodies pressed together, and Makoto said those three words he found himself saying a lot.

 

“You smell gross.”

“That’s what happens when you’re a seafood chef.”

“How about you go take a bath?”

“Only if you take one with me.”

Makoto sighed, “Alright, get off me so we can go.”

 

They bathed together, and went to bed curled up in each other’s arms. Their bodies remained so close to each other it’s almost as if they had dissolved into one being. 

“You always felt it too, right?” Haru asked Makoto.

Makoto didn’t have to ask Haru to specify, he just knew what he meant; the tingly feeling they felt where their skin connected, the fluttering feeling they felt in their stomachs when they said mushy things.

“Yes,” Makoto replied, “I still do.”

They fell asleep smiling; they had no worries about the other’s feelings. 

 

All thoughts were heard, and nothing was left unsaid.

 

-

 

~ Fin ~


End file.
